I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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