Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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