I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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