anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize