you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize