Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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