Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize