yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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