I think I won the penis lottery.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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