Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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  (443): party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there http://tfl.nu/5lco
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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  (425): Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility. http://tfl.nu/j5r5
  Replies (14) Good night (2689) Bad night (459)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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  (248): Public safety found my id! (248): And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had. http://tfl.nu/apb6
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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  (317): One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom http://tfl.nu/vjva
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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  (204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.

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  (502): So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut? (1-502): eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material. http://tfl.nu/j1ps
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  (914): View more from New York

  i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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  (914): i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros http://tfl.nu/6mrs
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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  (414): could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor? http://tfl.nu/bpu5
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.

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  (519): She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot. http://tfl.nu/3yos
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  (863): View more from Florida

  my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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  (863): my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car. http://tfl.nu/8sk6
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.

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  (785): As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester. http://tfl.nu/qann
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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  (905): It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms. http://tfl.nu/s3t3
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?

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  (902): There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3? http://tfl.nu/qguc
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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  (289): Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating. http://tfl.nu/q7ic
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (108)

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