I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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