he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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