thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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