we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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