Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize