Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize