Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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