Pappa wants mamma naked
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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