He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize