We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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