Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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