The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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