well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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