i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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