I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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