You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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