he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
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Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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