I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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