woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize