A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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