brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize