Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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