When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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