You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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