i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize