Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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