i just wanna soil my oats bro
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We named our party play list daddy issues
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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