note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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