Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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