If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
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Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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