I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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