Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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