He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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