Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize