Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
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told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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