Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize