i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize