So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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