her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
false alarm, still single
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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