dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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